don’t worry so much. if the multiverse theory is true, at least one other version of you did get some writing done today
GNU John Dearheart
Jade Harley was considered perhaps the most eccentric young member of her affluent family, and although she was liked well enough amongst her social class, her work often baffled the public. Over the past few years, she had become convinced that she could achieve atomic teletransportation, and some speculate that her frequent exposure to radiation may have made her slightly delusional.
Some mad scientist Jade, anyone?
no but enjolras staying the night at grantaire’s and then coming out into the kitchen with his hair in a bun and wearing an old t-shirt and boxers of grantaire’s
and he’s all hunched over the counter making coffee and bahorel just walks into the kitchen and shouts “R! YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU HAD A GIRL OVER!”
and enjolras just turns around and stares at bahorel like “wtf bahorel we’ve known each other for years how did you even make that mistake” until bahorel turns bright red and runs out of the kitchen
You know, Guardians of the Galaxy was not the first film I’ve watched in which Vin Diesel voiced a character that barely spoke and yet destroyed me with a single line of dialogue
need I remind you
Did they ever reveal how Captain America was thawed? Because I’m picturing a bunch of Shield agents with hair dryers and I don’t think that’s quite right.I don’t think they’d want to microwave him so hair dryer is really the only remaining option. That’s how I’d do it.badscienceshenanigansDo you have a sciency way to accomplish this task?
Well, let’s see.
To thaw a 1.5 metric ton colossal squid frozen in a block of ice (the only way the fishermen who trawled the thing in could bring it home before it went bad), scientists put it in a big vat of brine just above 0 Celsius/32F. That allowed the fresh water to melt while still keeping the squid as cold as possible. Essential, since for a giant corpse with tentacles, certain parts are bound to thaw days before others and could become quite rotten before the rest comes out of the ice block if you’re not careful.
HOWEVER Captain America was still alive, which complicates things. On the other hand, even supersoldiers are significantly smaller than this record-setting colossal squid. This helps thaw logistics somewhat.
Much like the squid, Captain America would have to be kept at a consistent temperature throughout his body in order to be thawed successfully. If his extremities were to thaw more than a minute or two before his heart and lungs were thawed and reactivated, the tissue wouldn’t have any oxygen and would quickly die. What a shame to bring back Steve Rogers only to have him be the poster boy for gangrene. Brain tissue becoming metabolically active before the cardiovascular system began functioning would be even more disastrous— possible permanent brain damage.
And the GH-325 project was born
To keep his temperature as equal as possible across his entire body, something like the squid brine or (more likely) an antifreeze solution would be used. Immerse the Capsicle in brine until the entire unit is within a degree or two of thawing* to begin Phase II.
*Note that due to presence of salts, fats, protein, etc, the freezing point of meat is actually 28-29F. Apologies to non-US readers, sadly I only work with American meat and don’t know the freezing point of corpses/beef in Sane Country Units. That being said, Steve Rogers is 100% American meat. Fahrenheit shall be considered the appropriate unit for this project.
At the thawing point, it’s important to consider life support functions. I don’t know how fast human tissue uses up oxygen at refrigerator-range temperatures, but I’m going to assume that the sooner you have oxygen circulating the better. A heart-lung machine would be needed to oxygenate and move the blood around for a while before the heart gets started back up.
Meanwhile, because Captain America’s last un-frozen moments were spent deep underwater, there may be decompression issues at play. Whatever gas bubbles may have been present in his tissue are currently frozen in place, but when he thaws they can move about and create embolisms —> the bends. Better put him in a hyperbaric chamber just in case.
Since Captain America regained consciousness in a recovery room rather than during the thaw process, it may be safe to assume that he was sedated and/or placed in a drug-induced coma during thaw.
So at this point we’ve got a giant bathtub of brine, a heart-lung machine, oxygen canisters, lots of drugs, plus all the necessary monitoring equipment all inside a hyperbaric chamber. After thawing the antifreeze bath could be replaced with gradually warming water or saline solution in order to bring Captain America back up to normal body temperature. So many machines! This is US medicine at its finest.
Forced warm air blowers (hairdryers) are needed after Captain America is fully thawed, organ systems are reactivated, and he is brought back to normal body temperature. At this point it becomes necessary to dry and style Captain America and put him in period-appropriate jammies to sleep it off in a vintage hospital room. If you think hearing the wrong baseball game tipped him off fast, you should see him wake up with bad hair.
THIS IS THE BEST POST IN THE HISTORY OF EVERYTHING.
That being said, Steve Rogers is 100% American meat. Fahrenheit shall be considered the appropriate unit for this project.
Understanding a line of foreshadowing so well that you have to stand up and walk around the house saying “shit shit shit shit shit” until you’re composed enough to go back.
Took me a moment to realize that this is not, in fact, a melon.
BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL!
Awesome followup comic from brainbubblegum, who always deserves to be pelted with cash monies.
Holy shit Hermann smashing the table with his cane and Newt twirling his shirt i’M DYING
We need kittens -
Everybody needs kittens.